Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
