I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
