i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
