Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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