I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
