shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
A+ Viking dick
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
