i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
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My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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