4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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