he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
