I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
