im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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