Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
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you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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