careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
