i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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