Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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