meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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