So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
