The maid of honor just puked.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
