More tranny stories later!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
