I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize