Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
