escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
