Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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