I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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