how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
