If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
