Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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