the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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