My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
