piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I love you. Go after that dick
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
