i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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