Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize