At least make sure they are 18
Why
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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