Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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