rhymes with "ouble enetration"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
