Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
