Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
