i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize