Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
