eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
