Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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