its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I AM VODKA MAN
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
