direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
