He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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