college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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