Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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