im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize