THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
