so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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