I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize