I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
