Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
