Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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