I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
