she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
