why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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