She said her name was "party"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
