she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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