if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
