Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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