dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
