I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
