he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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