Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
