You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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